Lost the light at the end of the tunnel...

A reader posted the following question:

"What if you were initially grateful, and then the feelings of betrayal rise up and now feel lost as if things aren't working out and the light at the end of the tunnel is no longer visible?"

It took some thought about this particular issue because there are a few causes that can bring this where I experienced the feeling personally and believe the best way to eliminate issues is finding the root cause and working outward rather than placing band aids until it scars over. Without deeper details, I hope the following resonates and helps. Please feel free to contact me directly via e-mail (roemoore@gmail.com) for more in-depth information. And as always, eat the fish and spit out the bones....

Rebuilding the clarity in the tunnel can take a good amount of focus and work. With becoming aware of all the feelings surrounding your current circumstances, it allows for movement and change. At the risk of sounding cheesy, maybe the light at the end of the tunnel isn't visible because you “turned your back” to it. There was a time where I simply “closed my eyes” to the light because I didn't think I deserved to see it and thoroughly enjoy it. Feelings of betrayal and the like usually stem from the Ego. I've concluded that the Ego resembles a parental figure in your life. The Ego tends to seek identity, security, and tries to mean well; but often will use past negative instances to convince you against what you are going for (which can cause feelings of being lost). When the Ego becomes overbearing, you begin to give into the external circumstances, denying your control and response-ability in the circumstances, and ultimately compromise your Self and inner Truth.

At that point, you believe the light is no longer visible because you feel so far gone from your truth. In reality, you're probably spinning your wheels--not going closer nor farther from the light. When realizing this, that sometimes feeds the Ego to say, “Look, you're not any closer now! Why keep going? Why bother?” Other times you can take a breath and say, “Oh, thank you. I didn't lose ground” and you see where the next step is. Considering it sounds like your Ego is using the “Why bother?” option, getting back to your roots into why you started toward the end of the tunnel in the first place helps. When you regain focus and fuel energy into what you want to grow, it gains strength and power as the opposing diminishes. Ask your Ego to take a backseat for a few hours and give the strategy I use to refocus your energy:

On your first piece of paper, write out a list of 5-10 characteristics that describe your truth of who you know you are (i.e. loyal, courageous, supportive, inspiring...). This allows you to ground yourself into your way of being. Second, write out what you know to be at the end of the tunnel (a house, a new career, loving relationship). This reminds you of your purpose, your passion, your life's mission. While doing this, write quotes that resonate with you, look at pictures that resonate. Play music that resonates (a few of my favorites are Eminem's “I'm Not Afraid”, Pink's “Glitter in the Air” and Black Eyed Peas “Imma be”). Anything that roots you back to the start of your journey in the first place. It meant something to you once, it doesn't instantly disappear.

Take out another sheet of paper, draw a line down the center and on the right side, title it 'Positives' and on the left side, title it 'Negatives.' Allow yourself to write out what, why, and how you were initially grateful for what was happening below the titles. Then on the back of the same paper, write out what events caused you to feel betrayed. Be completely honest—no one else will see these papers unless you choose to show them. As emotions arise, allow them to come out. Denying your feeling during the exercises will only make it worse. Trust and breathe, your logical mind can lead you through while your body is feeling and releasing.

After writing this out, take a moment to compare your actions to your characteristics/purpose. You will discover a variety of things: maybe you weren't walking your walk and compromised yourself. Maybe you defaulted your responses because you didn't see a better way in that moment and now you see other choices! You may realize things out of your control occurred and it really isn't worth holding yourself back from your vision anymore. The biggest release for me was when I realized that I was holding on to beliefs from other people because they were jealous and envious that they could not achieve the same results I was making. They didn't feel worthy themselves, so they were projecting onto me that I am not worthy, either. For me to get to the light at the end of my tunnel, feeling unworthy does not serve for the result. So I realigned those thoughts and changed my response from acceptance to compassion when they project their own perception.

This usually brings enough clarity to the next steps toward the light. Start planning out what you will do next to reignite your pursuit.

Another great way to relight your end of the tunnel is to write out a minimum of 5-10 Positive actions/reactions that happened during the course of the day right before you go to bed. Sometimes you'll have more, sometimes you'll have less. But this allows your mind to become more open and accepting to the positive success coming into your life everyday.

I hope this helps!

To you and your passionate, successful life!
Roe