And I totally rocked it!!!
So today was filming day!! A chance to give myself a "Success Point of Reference" next time I think I can't do something like this. And it went absolutely amazing! A lot of ideas that have been passed to me have started to take formation as "Oh, I get it now!" and.... needless to say, I feel like I live here now.
It began as a very windy day. My friend who I'm staying with was having a garage sale and I kinda felt bad for her because I wouldn't think the wind would be warm and she was telling me "No, the wind will keep it cool, but it'll probably in the upper 80s if not 90 degrees today..." It was a hot one!
I got on set, I kinda felt bad because when I read the schedule, I thought it said "1:30" but it actually was 1PM.... silly me and my bad eyesight. But no harm done, I got there as soon as traffic would let me, which was a little bit of slow. It was moving, just not at a great rate of speed (welcome to California, i know!)! I got on set and it was different than the sets I've been on in Colorado or even New Mexico. For only being a 2 man crew, they had their shit together. We got started right as I got there, then wrapped right on time, all the other actors were on top of it and prepared. Wow... The director was really happy with how everything was turning out. After my shots he was in awe of how well everything was going. I'll get the results in a couple months! Yay!!! I did my own bruises. and the ones on my arms still haven't washed off, it's kinda funny!
This is where a bit of something Chris said to me yesterday...He mentioned about learning how to act around those who aren't quite "up to par" and well, it was strange because for as much as they had their stuff together, one of the actor guys seemed a little odd about it. His normal casting was the "good husband, good dad" kinda like that Malcolm in the Middle Dad. And even though he was being featured in this horror film we were doing, he was very quirky in his actions and almost to the point where he was uncomfortable. It was interesting to watch him perform because he was stretching. Then the other girl, Sarah, she did amazing. In her crying scene, it took her a little bit to prepare but after she finally started getting into her crying, it became so authentic it was brilliant!! It helped me get there because she was "up to par" with her performance, it made mine come out even more. I rose to the occasion!
For the longest time, my acting coach in NM has been pressing the idea of "You are enough". It is true. And today proved it in many ways. I wasn't feeling like I was pushing myself to create and force a particular "Character idea". I simply brought myself: with all the experience and feelings as any human has and I believed that I was enough. That was all. And for those who don't know me well, I've come to the understanding that how you are in one area of your life is how you execute all things in life. It's a mantra I've picked up from my mentor Dallas Travers. Well, I caught myself believing that I wasn't enough in a different area of life--love. I've kinda sparked a little love attraction for a great guy in New Mexico (he's probably reading this but hell, he probably will be flattered). We always end up on these amazing intellectual conversations right when he or I have to go. I started thinking that he was upset that he couldn't talk to me longer so I was pushing myself to create something to text him about. But dawned on me as I was driving to the film location that it was a belief I was living under and it simply isn't true. I am enough where I don't have to create a sense of attention-manipulation or acceptance or anything. He was probably quite content and comfortably knows that I'll talk to him again. This is similar to my acting where I don't need to create my emotions, I don't need to push myself into anything, it will come if I allow myself and accept that I am enough. I'm not sure if all that's gonna make sense to a bundle of people, but feel free to ask more questions. Less creation and more allowing. much better acting~And LIFE!!
I had a little break time between scenes so I headed up to Hollywood BLVD Since I was in the area. Man, that area has changed since the last time I was there. There's new mall area and a lot of different restaurants that weren't there a year ago. It's quite a nice place--it was cool to see the mix of people visiting on a Saturday. I had a philly cheese steak from this place called Dips. It was alright, not the best I've tasted, but it was good! After filming, I met back up with my friend and we hung out over in Huntington Beach area.
It's been good to go out with my friend because I'm getting the chance to see where the variety of people live and the housing available. Like Sarah (from my film that I mentioned earlier) had a nice house close to Sunset Blvd in North Hollywood. My friend's friends house right off a river, and then the studio apartment off in Huntington Beach. It's strange at the variety and whatnots, but the one thing has remained the case: Everyone here respects people's space. I was trying to find parking in Huntington Beach and people actually followed the guides of the parking spaces, the driveways and everything. Everywhere else there's always someone who's an idiot and screws it up for the whole group, but even just walking around I don't feel like people are out to break into my car, or take my purse, or belongings. It's kinda nice.
Well, now today has come to a close. A proud happy close. I have a casting director workshop tomorrow. Mr. Eric Soliere. I'm just gonna bring what I learned today--I am enough--and let it bring what it will. I also get to hang out with Jeanie tomorrow too!! That'll be fun!!!!!
Until tomorrow.... ttfn!
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