Thursday, January 7, 2010

Fell behind, but landed on my face...? lol...

So I begin tonight's entry with a little apprehension, a few discoveries, and just some good stuff! I found out that Jeanie is going to host her next workshop in Denver, so that makes it easier to go home and see the family and all that junk. I picked up a few more books from the library about business stuffs. I found some hikes to take the doggies on. But we'll get back to that in a few...

I am still continuing on my romantic comedy script. I finally have the first character outlined and almost solid. I'm starting on the 2nd character tonight. From there, I'll keep going on the main 6 characters and we'll get back to the outline and play it out from there. Keep it simple, keep it straight forward, and keeps it organized as far as the thoughts flowing out onto the paper. Yay!

With the other script written by my good friend Kasha's husband has proved some difficulty. through the writing itself, there is not much concrete evidence into the conflict of certain characters so most of it is up for speculation. It's a good idea and a good practice for me to look and analyze. We'll see how this pans out because I'll definitely need some guidance and sit down time with her husband to clear up a lot of my speculating.

I was working with Kevin, a great producer in Denver, on one of his scripts. His was quite extrodinare! It had a wacky storyline, quick-paced, and...gore.... and blood. It was a captivating story, but it was written a little confusing. After reading it it was clear that he didn't have a specific idea for the main character and the action surrounding her.

All in all, it was a great experience so I know for my script to really focus on that first, then move on to the outline with the breakdown beats and then imagry THEN SIMPLIFY and then on to needed dialogue. I'll do my best to make it a silent film first.... nah... that's just going too extreme! lol. But dialogue is only needed when there's a missing link. wise words I've learned many times from 2 people. It really makes it seem like a lot of work, but i think this script will be rockin'!

I know I haven't really wrote in a while. Bad me, first of the year and I abandon the one resource I have that allows me to dig deep. I've noticed over the past few days a struggle between finding clarity and stillness. Not to the extent where I lost the mini empire state building hits, but it's difficult on my psyche right now. I've connected back (like an idiot) with an energy-sucking, not my people, pain in my butt for the benefit of the script and well, he tried talking sweet and I believed him (cuz, I fall for words--I'm auditory!) and come to find out he crushed every little bit saying that it was nothing. Argh. Why do I do that to myself?! lol. It's okay, I recoverred for the most part. So the mini empire state building was not lost in a whirlwind of craziness. But this experienced opened my eyes a little more to what I want from a guy relationship and to my laziness of really working with my conscious/subconscious and control the thought stream--for lack of a better way of describing that.

I discoverred something in yoga today. I must make a goal past winning an Academy Award. I was discussing with my yoga teacher tonight about my fear of success and how I've become aware of the limitations it's caused me. It dawned on me when I was in the middle of a pose and she started pushing me. Stupid me, I didn't want to go that far because, well, it's outside a comfort, a familiar, a place I'm willing to go, and I allowed the fear that if I go that far, i'll be expected to go that far. But why shouldn't I go that far? Obviously that's the gist of working out. I talked to her about it and she said, "there's always more to go, always" which got me thinking, there is more for me to reach for after I win that Academy Award, like the lifetime achievement award, or I can help out non-profits, I can keep performing! things like that. I must set my eyes on these prizes to because it lifts the discouragement of that being "the end" to me. Ahhh, motivation back in place!

I'll get back to doing some clarity exercises soon. And, as my earlier post said: Why not make a resolution everyday? So what have I done, I've done character breakdowns deeper than I usually do. I've been writing on my scripts. I've been thinking (have't concretely put down) about my headshot prep work. I did go by a store to see if I could easily acheive an era costume to fit with my look for MadMen. I picked up more books at the Library. I did look into learning another language so I can benefit from that in my acting work.

And now that I remember I need to get started at least on part one for my headshot prep, but before I go tonight, it is a great pleasure to appreciate and thank all that I have... so here we go:

I am Happy and Grateful for:
  1. my two perfect puppies
  2. everything being as it is to be
  3. the library because it is apart of my abundance
  4. my dad
  5. Dallas Travers
  6. Lessons coming out of Left field
  7. inspirational hits of motivation
  8. my car being strong
  9. yoga getting me strong and in shape--I'm a size 6!...in suits... lol
  10. but my jeans are starting to fall off of me
  11. the VCN website is awesome
  12. Jeanie! who called at the nick of time! she has the most perfect timing!
  13. Kasha for her determination and stregnth
  14. the voids that are going to be filled
  15. Lockheed Martin for the job opportunity
  16. meeting someone new at yoga
  17. a friend buying me lunch today
  18. and we had great insightful conversation
  19. the shop I wanted to go to was right across from where I ate lunch
  20. the parking guys giving extra minutes on the meter
  21. naps
  22. an insightful strike of abnormalness to motivate her after a billboard
  23. smooth traffic every time she drives
  24. the great weather, it's like spring time already
  25. the smoothie she got after yoga
  26. all the scripts and practice i've had over the past couple days
  27. the book that jumped out at me while wandering the library
  28. the nice librarian that helped me out
  29. being safe
  30. All the sources she has access to and that will assist her into more.
That's a pretty long list, I'm sure I could keep going because there's been so much over the past couple days. but I gotta get to work on my headshot prep! So off to do my daily resolution!

-----------------------------------------------
"Two web links diverged in a yellow wood,
And I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
~Robert Frost.

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