Success is around the corner... to the left? maybe?

So I'm still in this negativity slum slightly. it sucks, yes. But I'm realizing a better idea as to why. Those around me are reminding me of past blocks that I've passed but I'm not quite strong enough to keep that from affecting my energy. I'll be able to do that soon. But in the meantime: "Focus on the Positive!"

1. Jeanie helped me put together my reel and is wanting to use me as an example of what to put together.
2. She also suggested that I use my skills to create reels for other actors in town.
3. Pretzel is adorable when she sleeps.
4. I was able to open my windows and let in the fresh warm Albuquerque air in my apartment
5. I sent off some snail mail.
6. Jeanie gave me some envelopes for me to hand off my stuff to NM Agent
7. Pandora is letting me listen to music without stopping after the 2nd song
8. I cleaned my apartment
9. I cooked good pizza and had my well cooked grilled cheese
10. I had a good improv scene at class
11. Peanut has been a very good cuddle bug lately.
12. I figured out how to put together a dvd for me reel.
13. My tummy is looking like washboard abs, yay!
14. My arms are stronger
15. I SAW FILMING HAPPENING AT ONE OF THE REST STOPS on my way to and home from acting class
16. I got scenes to work on that I get to perform in classes
17. I chose another head shot that will work well
18. I get paid on Thursday
19. I got the big picture of Peanut and Preztel hanging on my wall!
20. I get now why you go where the the majority of people go, it makes a congruency between you and the environment.

Well, there's 20. The last one is probably one of the most important things I've realized. It is quite different from when your surrounded by those who are serious verses those who are putting one foot on the ground and a toe in the water of what they're passionate for. I guess now it's really getting to me about who's serious about acting and who's biding time. I'm putting in 100%, this is my life, this is what I have chosen to support my lifestyle. So I am giving it all 100% in every exercise, every scene, every chance. But when others allow obstacles in the way it makes me feel a little uneasy. Granted, this will give me a chance to learn to find some tolerance in it or how to work with that. It's probably a lesson in patience and stability in my power. For I have first hand knowledge that being around better actors helps make oneself better actors. It's hard to be one of the better actors and try to bring up everyone around you. and I put that in a very bad negative outlook. I'll repost that in a more positive outlook tomorrow.

Well, it's late, so I better get to bed.... night all...