I had to go into work tonight after Kathy Brink's workshop and although I was dreading it, it was good. I was talking to a co-worker of mine and we got into a discussion about why I moved here. It felt good to say I was out of Denver and how painful it was staying there. He actually had similar issues--wanting to get out of NM and move on in his life. He even has a job offer to go out to California and "start over" as he put it. I asked him what was holding him back and he said "letting the boss down" that hosts the cart we work at. I really could understand his complex, but at the same time, he's the one that has to live with the results. I suggested that he really consider going especially after I explained to him that I was stuck at Visa for years that I wish I had back.
It's important to recognize when there's a co-dependency in your life. It's definitely not good to be 100% independent either--but you have to find a happy medium. I like to think the 20:80 method. I like 80% independence and 20% dependency right now. Eventually, I would like to have 80% dependency on my agent, my manager, and a close ring of other Industry Professionals and 20% independence of focusing on my skill. But until I can get the business end of my acting fine-tuned with the right people in the right places, I have to focus on that for the majority. I refuse to let anything else in that may create a co-dependency either in a relationship, job, etc. because it's not important at this time. My establishment as an actor is.
Talking to him gave me inspiration to write up my business plan to see if I can get a Small Business Loan for my Acting Career. It's possible--because acting is a business. I'll get back to that.
I attended Kathy Brink's workshop today and I wish I would've led off a better first impression, but I was speechless as how personable she was. After attending many of Shari Rhode's workshops, it was amazing how she greeted me and offered herself as a resource for the NM Film Industry. I must have let off an energy that I needed validation for being as good of an actor as I think I am because many of the other actors there complimented me and gave me their point of view about how my performance was--which was really cool and grounding.
It sucked because the first script that I had to review for a couple days I looked to far into. I thought it was a drama, but it was actually a comedy, so by the scrapes of my jeans I had to wing my performance since I didn't have anything of Ivana's technique strong. But I still got notes from people saying I was "adorable" and that I did a fairly good job. The notes I got from Kathy is that I was pushing the comedy (well, yeah, cuz i didn't know what else to do), and to trust what I have working and going on. However! A LESSON OBSERVED! When I'm confused on whether the script is a drama or comedy, then it's a comedy.
I got a second script to coldread and I took it and ran with it! It was much better! She was happy to see me trust what was going on and make the improvements from my previous read. I still didn't hit the part 100%, but I was able to take direction and it started to build up to something. Many others that were watching commented too!
What made me sad is she mentioned about who she cast for the Boss in an Easy Money episode--turns out that was my old acting coach. As she described his audition, I couldn't help but reflect that what he did is not what he teaches. Either that or he teaches at such a slower rate that maybe i would've gotten there, eventually before 40. Who knows? Maybe my learning wasn't growing quicker because I didn't have a solid foundation to work from. I'm not sure with having the Ivana technique if it would help me learn more of what he's trying to go after--but like I blogged about earlier: I'm only willing to go as deep as the teacher would go. So probably not since I don't feel safe to "go there" and he doesn't push that.
Either way, money well spent. And I made a great connection and I hope she'll be excited to see me grow into a Solid Actor. Well, any way, I'm on my way to bed... I have 2 auditions tomorrow, and we'll see how that goes!
Yay!!!!!
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